It is freezing cold here, I can't get the fire to stay lit and I can't motivate myself to get out from under the blankets to do some ACTUAL house work!!! So it has left me with some time to think... The number one question on my mind recently has been about balance and how do we have it in our life. In the Bible God talks about the "abundant life" and pastors love to preach on it... but what is it? I would think those in the church who are most active in the church would be the ones with the best take on the abundant life. The problem is they are the most tired, weary, burnt out, run down, frenzied people I know. The say things like, "well this the Lord's work so I just have to make my family work around it". Abundant Life?!?! That doesn't look abundant to me!!! It looks exhausting and unfilling... So what is it? Well I really don't think the average church, even the really great ones with fantastic teaching, really teach us how to have the abundant life. God says "His burden is easy and His yoke is light", but I feel like it is overwhelming and stiffling and impossible at times, which makes me ask myself am I really caring God's load, the one that leads to the abundant life, or am I really caring all my goodie two shoes excuses for, well, LIFE and missing out on accomplishing the work that God ACTUALLY has for me? And I would have to say the answer to that question is that I'm not caring God's load at all. I am caring everybody elses good intentioned plans (including my own) some of which I really never wanted to say yes too. And all of these good intentions haven't led me to the abundant life, they lead straight to the CRAZY HOUSE, which at this point of time could be subsituted as The Henderson Home.
So I have set out on a sort of quest. I have been reading some really great books, the best of which has been a book called "Bounderies" and have been learning a whole lot about, well, ME. I am learning where I say Yes when I shoud say No, and how that being a submissive wife isn't saying "Yes, dear, that's fine with me" and inside thinking "Are you crazy!!! YOU want to add what to the schedule!!!" I am learning that having my boundaries means not letting all 3 of my kids clamour at me for their undivided attention constantly, and that saying Yes to me means having to say NO to them sometimes. I am learning that this doesn't make me a bad mum, it makes me a better one because if you don't have anything left you can't give it away. The funny thing is if you would have asked me a couple of weeks ago if I was the sort of person that has a hard time saying No I would have laughed at you and said "Oh no I have never had that problem!!!" and the reason why I have said Yes have been justified with the best of intentions. Things like, "I know that my friend is being unreasonable asking me to do this, but I love her and that is part of being a friend (never mind the fact my "friend" would NEVER do said act for me)"
In my quest for finiding balance I am finding that the biggest culprit isn't our schedule, or money, or church, or even my "job" of Tupperware... the culprit is ME!!! Yes all these other things are in the process of having a reevaluation of were their rightful place belongs, but untill I learn to say No I will chop one thing out and put two things in it's place. I want the abundant life and I am learning the only way to have it is to do what God wants me to do using His strength and getting rid of the things he doesn't want me to do and therefore He doesn't give me the strenght to do!!! I am looking forward to a less cluttered life filled with the balance, joy, love, peace, AND work that God has for me and our family... THE Abundant life!!!!
Now that I am on the road to abundant life I wonder if maybe just maybe it might include dry wood and a fire so I can warm up and get some of this house work done... or on the other hand maybe God wants me to stay cold enough to stop working and spend a bit of time thinking and praying for His wisdom...
3 comments:
Boundaries??? Hmmm, maybe I might have to get a hold of this book! I get the feeling that saying no might also be a problem for me! I loved what you wrote and I agree. We need to be seeking those "ministries" that God wants done because, as you said, I don't think God empowers us to do things He doesn't want us to do - even if they are good things!
Amen Sistah! I have to constantly remind myself of these things as well.
I agree on watching the frenzied families in the church. I think some moms forget that our kids are the ministry that God has given us as well. Especially when they are young like ours, that can be consuming enough!
You know I have read this post several times, thinking about over and over...I really feel this especially in the last year since I quit working in the "real" world...Most days I wake up and think I don't feel fulfilled or challenged and need to find outlets for me and in that same breath I say how am I going to get everything done today, there is just not enough time...thanks for this post, lots to pray about and to dig deep and listen for the right answers!!! Love ya!
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