Being Mum

Today was the most beautiful sunny day so we loaded the kids up in the car and went to the most wonderul park called Fantasy Park. We had so much fun being outside and it was the perfect opportunity to click some pics of our cute little chickens. I thought I would share them along with some nice pics of some Australian flora I took today.

On a slightly different note today was also the day for the first birthday party that Heidi has been invited to. So this morning I spent 2 hours making a little dress to give to the birthday girl as a present (cheper then buying plastic kids crap marketed as toys). But as I put up Heidi's hair and tied a pretty yellow bow in and helped her get her party shoes on I felt this little knot develop deep in my stomach. As I helped her get in the car and did up her seat belt the knot grew. By the time we got there and she ran off to play with her sweet little friends from dance class the knot grew even bigger. And as I hung around secretly hoping she would freak out, and instead she gave me a kiss and waved good bye, the knot grew almost unbearable. Then being the good mum that I am, I gave her a big smile and said "have a lovely time sweetie, I love you." I got in the car and drove off and just prayed and shed a little tear. I don't know why this event of all the milestones she has hit recently was harder, but it was. I know that this is one of many, but it was so hard to just leave. I wasn't there to keep an eye on her, or make sure no one was being mean, or make sure she didn't eat too much cake. She had to be a big girl and I had to let her. Needless to say at 5 I called Murray from my Tupperware party and with just slight desperation made sure she was home and OK. Of course she was, and except from a little minor potty accident she had a wonderful time. It makes me think on that day when instead of tying her hair in a yellow ribbon I'm tieing the strings on her wedding dress will I be able to bear it? Will I be able to not break down in a pile of tears and beg her to stay with me forever? These are the things no one tells you about when you get pregnant. Maybe it's because it wouldn't do any good, or maybe it's because there are no words to describe it, or maybe it's because it's just part of the joys and tears of motherhood. Whatever it is, it certainly must be one of the hardest parts of this job called "being mum".